I think you would agree that this has been a highly emotional several weeks leading up to the election and then reacting to the results – some were elated, others devastated. Going through the Thanksgiving holidays brought people together and I suspect in some gatherings, tensions arose when politics were brought up. Some families may have experienced intense conflicts, and some relationships damaged or even ended.
I want to share with you some wisdom a good friend of mine wrote on Facebook after attending a very moving Boy Scouts ceremony:
“It was the first time I’ve recited the Pledge of Allegiance since November 5 and I was struck by the word INDIVISIBLE in a powerful way.
I’m fully aware I can only do my part in my corner of the world, but I felt a renewed commitment…deeply…to do just that. My part in building bridges of connection instead of walls of division.
If we are going to make it through these times, regardless of who you chose on your ballot, my heart’s desire is that we find ways to be indivisible.
I fully admit I don’t know yet what that will look like in the unknown before me, but I’ll work to honor what hit me yesterday in that moment.”
After reading this, it struck me that we all could benefit from recognizing how much we share similar values and philosophies when it comes to our wishes for our country by embracing our power to promote indivisibility.
I thought about some of the ways we can stay connected through those shared values and philosophies by appreciating how much we all love our country and the freedom it affords us. We are all blessed to have the right to free speech. We all have the power to respect the differences of opinion we often experience by listening to each other’s hopes and dreams for this country. We can share how we appreciate how much we agree on these. We can all share our desire to embrace the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution and all that each stands for, especially as it says in the preamble to the Declaration of Independence, that we “are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Implied is that we each can do these in our own unique ways.
I also considered what we should avoid if we truly want to connect with others who may feel differently than we do. Here are some of my thoughts: attempting to force our opinions on others through bullying, arguing rather than respectfully discussing, name-calling, mocking, being contemptuous, gossiping with others in an attempt to put another person down. Each of these behaviors has the power to harm and even destroy precious relationships. Each of these negate an individual’s rights to their values and beliefs.
Rebecca Jo Grant shared her thoughts on Instagram on ways to respond when a child is being disrespectful. Here are three of them that I have adapted to provide specific ideas if someone treats us disrespectfully:
- Stay calm and composed: “I can see you’re upset, but talking like this isn’t the real you. Let’s take a moment and discuss this calmly and respectfully.”
- Acknowledge their feelings: “I get that you are passionate about your opinions.”
- Lovingly set boundaries: “I appreciate you and I’m here to listen to your perspectives. Let’s both agree to speak to each other in ways that allow us to each to feel respected.”
For me, the bottom line is believing that there is more we share in our values and desires for our country than in what we disagree on. Let’s celebrate that. And let’s stay true to our core values so we can be one nation, indivisible, under God.
Invitation for Reflection
- Notice your thoughts and feelings about this concept of a nation that is indivisible. Have you considered this concept before now?
- Over the holidays, did you have any interactions with family members or friends in which there were discussions about the election? To what extent were individuals respectful of each other’s perspectives?
- Can you envision using any of the suggestions I adapted from Rebecca Jo Grant’s Instagram message in a conversation in which someone is being disrespectful?
- How else can you promote the concept of a nation that is indivisible?
Diane Wagenhals
Director Emeritus, Lakeside Global Institute