Two experiences I had in the last few days motivated me to write about the amazing power of having purpose. One story captures the sadness and struggles of a friend who wonders why she should bother staying alive, who says she has no purpose in life. The other story highlights the impact of a life lived focusing on enhancing the lives of individuals, families and organizations.
In my first story, the person I spoke with was despairing because she didn’t think there was anything she could contribute to the world, so why bother go on living? I can understand why she came to this conclusion, including the fact that she has a complex trauma history that has terribly wounded her. I shared with her that I am hopeful that as she heals from some of this trauma, she will become clearer about the many ways she can contribute to the world. She has much to offer but her pain right now prevents her from appreciating how much she will love life when she finds purpose for her life. I am confident she will get there.
My second story originated from attending a very powerful memorial service for the recently deceased husband of a good friend. For two hours I was able to witness testimonies from a variety of people – people who had worked with him, some who had engaged in risky demonstrations to influence the political movements that put our democracy at risk, people who are excited to read the hundreds of books he recommended to them to enlighten them on a wide variety of issues, many family members, including children, who shared the many ways he had impacted their lives. A common theme of the service focused on the people he inspired through his loving attention to cultivate their curiosities about the world and his efforts to help them embrace a lifelong love of reading. This clearly was a man embracing a sense of purpose that allowed him to contribute to the improvement of human lives and our society.
I did some research I will now share with you about what is involved in having a purpose-driven life, how it can impact a person and even result in benefiting the world and some suggested steps for finding purpose.
In 2002, Rick Warren, a Christian pastor, published a bestseller book called, The Purpose-Driven Life. Google attributes the following quote to him: “A purpose-driven life is one that is lived with an intent beyond the responsibilities of daily life. It is what God planned for you, and when you live out his five purposes, you experience the abundant life he promised. Individuals with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer, have healthier hearts, and are more psychologically resilient.”
The September 23rd AARP Bulletin shares the following: “It’s been said that the two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Finding our purpose is what guides us and gives our life meaning.” They go on to share that, “those who do can live longer, healthier and happier lives. When you are living a life of purpose, neurosurgeon Sanjay Gupta says, ‘you are signaling to your body to make sure that your immune system is functioning at its best.’”
In a 2023 article in Psychology Today entitled “10 Powerful Benefits of Living with Purpose,” author Meg Selig shares research showing three of the impacts of living with purpose: better sleep, a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and better mental health. She adds, “A stronger sense of purpose may counter the negative effects of the stress hormone cortisol, a hormone that can wreak havoc on numerous body systems. Purpose may undo the negative effects of stress, repairing the immune system, calming the heart rate, and lowering blood sugar.”
In the book Finding Our Purpose in Life: A Step-by-Step Method, author J. Travers Hartnett shares the following impact of having a purpose in life: “As a result, we become more confident, effective, independent, tolerant, inquisitive, and most of all content. We also make better decisions. When we do the things we were born to do, we automatically become forces of our nature. Unstoppable.”
How do we achieve a purpose-driven life? An article from positivepsychology.com suggests the following:
- Support others (and receive others’ support) by joining clubs – strengthening bonds and building relationships.
- Share feelings, desires, hopes, goals, successes, and failures with a close friend or significant other to increase intimacy.
- Focus outside yourself on causes, pursuits, and responsibilities to self-transcend.
- Pursue goals and strive for achievement in areas aligned with your values.
- Become comfortable in who you are. Feel the satisfaction of meaning by practicing self-acceptance.
- Express and experience respect and fairness.
- Obtaining materialistic desires can be significant and meaningful for some.
- Work towards professional goals which can be purposeful for many.
[I highly recommend the book Strengths Finder by Tom Rath that can offer you insights on your specific strengths.]
When I reflect on the struggles of my friend who feels like her life is purposeless, I hope and pray that she will soon realize her many gifts and talents that will give her opportunities to care for and nurture others. I will continue to encourage her to cultivate these beliefs. When I reflect on my friend’s husband who clearly lived a life of purpose, I think about all the people he inspired and continues to inspire through his writings.
I hope that you will take the time to consider the degrees to which you are aware of your strengths and are inspired to live a purpose-driven life.
Invitation for Reflection
- To what extent would you say you are living a purpose-driven life? What about how your live life shows that?
- What are some of your specific gifts and talents that can guide you in becoming more purpose-driven in life?
- Who in your life can you discuss this information with as a way to inspire you to be more focused about living a purpose-driven life?
- Who in your life might you share this information with in order to inspire them to live a more purpose-driven life?
Diane Wagenhals
Director Emeritus, Lakeside Global Institute