When I was a young child, many years ago, my mother would read bedtime stories to me. One I can still remember is “The Little Engine That Could” meant to inspire the children hearing the story that they too could overcome challenges. Here is a summary from Wikipedia: “A little railroad engine was employed about a station yard for such work as it was built for, pulling a few cars on and off the switches. One morning it was waiting for the next call when a long train of freight-cars asked a large engine in the roundhouse to take it over the hill. “I can’t; that is too much a pull for me”, said the great engine built for hard work. Then the train asked another engine, and another, only to hear excuses and be refused. In desperation, the train asked the little switch engine to draw it up the grade and down on the other side. “I think I can”, puffed the little locomotive, and put itself in front of the great heavy train. As it went on the little engine kept bravely puffing faster and faster, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”.
As it neared the top of the grade, which had so discouraged the larger engines, it went more slowly. However, it still kept saying, “I think I can, I think I can”. It reached the top by drawing on bravery and then went on down the grade, congratulating itself by saying, “I thought I could, I thought I could”. It was the little engine’s confidence that allowed him to succeed in pulling the much larger train up the mountain and down the other side.
Another famous song about confidence is found in the musical The Sound of Music. Here is a brief description of the story from Wikipedia: “The Sound of Music is based on the 1949 book The Story of the Trapp Family Singers by Maria von Trapp. Set in Austria on the eve of the Anschluss in 1938, the musical tells the story of Maria, who takes a job as governess to a large family while she decides whether to become a nun. She falls in love with the children, and eventually their widowed father, Captain von Trapp.”
As she leaves the nunnery on her assignment to help the widowed father, she sings the song “I Have Confidence” in order to reassure herself that she can succeed in this assignment.
In an article from Psychology Today, the author shares the following:
“Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.
Projecting confidence helps people gain credibility, make a strong first impression, deal with pressure, and tackle personal and professional challenges. It’s also an attractive trait, as confidence helps put others at ease.
How to Build Confidence
Confidence is not an innate, fixed characteristic. It’s an ability that can be acquired and improved over time.
Social confidence can be developed by practicing in social settings. Individuals can observe the structure and flow of any conversation before jumping in, and they can prepare questions or topics to discuss ahead of time.
Anxiety can take hold when people are plagued by self-doubt, so putting themselves in and getting accustomed to the specific situation they fear can assure people that nothing truly bad will happen. And the activity gets easier with practice.
Outside of a social context, one can gain a sense of confidence from personal and professional accomplishments. Continuing to set and meet goals can enable the belief that one is competent and capable.
Being confident means knowing that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you’ll face. Begin by acknowledging every emotion, including difficult emotions, rather than avoiding them. Speaking up for yourself, limiting self-criticism, and other strategies can help build emotional strength and confidence.”
This information can be helpful in defining confidence and providing suggestions for helping to build it. However, there are some blockades to growing one’s self-confidence, which I will invite you to explore in my next blog.
Invitation for Reflection
- How confident do you think you are? If you think you are a confident person, what has contributed to that confidence?
- Can you recall moments when your confidence in yourself allowed you to succeed at something? Were there specific people in your life who helped you become more self-confident?
- Do you think many or most of your family members are self-confident? If so, how did they help you become a more confident person?
Diane Wagenhals
Director Emeritus, Lakeside Global Institute